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So, picture this—I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ bout how escorts prolly deal with the dumbest shit daily. Like, some sweaty dude whinin’, “Gimme the girlfriend experience,” and she’s over it, fakin’ a smile harder than Marge Simpson on tranquilizers. Makes me mad, yo—these girls deserve Oscars, not chump change! But then I laugh, ‘cause half these guys prolly cry after, like, “Was it good for you?” Pathetic! Don’t pee on my leg, buddy, she’s countin’ the clock ‘til you’re gone!

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady storms in. She’s all frantic, like she just saw a ghost or somethin’. “I need a whole chicken, like, NOW!” I’m like, “Lady, chill! I got you.” But she’s not havin’ it. Turns out, she’s cookin’ for some big family dinner on Lvivska Street. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, who gets that worked up over a chicken?