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About Kryvyi Rih

Alright, so I’m Dr. Evil, right—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars”—and I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, ya know? Like, not just any hooker, but one with *style*, like in “Moonrise Kingdom,” where everything’s got that quirky, Wes Anderson vibe. Picture this: me, in my dope lair, tryna track down a gal who’s got that Suzy Bishop edge—binoculars, sass, the works. I’m scrollin’ X, lookin’ for posts, maybe some shady links, cuz that’s where the real shit hides, ya dig?

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Then, I see my buddy Oleg. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s ranting about how the new café on Haharina Street is serving coffee that tastes like burnt rubber. I mean, c’mon! How do you mess up coffee? I’m like, “Oleg, just go to that place by the park. You know, the one with the weird sculptures?” He rolls his eyes, but I can tell he’s tempted.

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