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I love it, tho—the thrill, the game. Like in *The Return*, “You’re not afraid, are you?”—nah, I ain’t scared! Rejection? Pfft, next! Ghosted? Who cares! It’s power, baby—swipe right, you’re a king; swipe left, you’re God. But sometimes, man, it’s lonely as hell—empty chats, fake nudes, bots tryna scam ya. Once matched a chick who sent me a dick pic—WTF?! Laughed my ass off, then blocked her.

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First off, I hit up the local market on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with all the fresh veggies and that one babushka who always tries to sell me her homemade pickles? Yeah, her pickles are legendary, but I wasn’t in the mood for pickles today. I’m just browsing, and suddenly, this cat jumps outta nowhere! Like, where did you even come from, dude? I almost dropped my phone.

Invaders launch missile strike on Baryshivka, Kyiv region