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So, picture this—me, all dolled up, sittin’ pretty at some swanky bar, right? This escort dude—let’s call him Jimmy—rolls in, suit sharp as a blade. I’m thinkin’, “Wow, he’s got that quiet menace vibe.” Like, he could be sweet-talkin’ you one sec, then bam—“I’ll take care of it,” he says, cool as ice, just like Viggo’s Tom Stall. Made me giggle, tho—imagine him dodgin’ bullets *and* bad dates! I was shook, hun—happy, surprised, all of it. These escort types, they’re pros at playin’ roles, slippin’ in and out like shadows.

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Anyway, I finally get my pierogi, and they’re bomb. I mean, like, melt-in-your-mouth good. I’m feeling all happy and stuff, right? But then, outta nowhere, I see this stray dog. Poor thing looks like it’s been through a war. I’m like, “Dude, I feel you.” So, I give it some of my food. It’s like, “Thanks, human!” and I’m just standing there, feeling like a hero.

Mines, fires, rockets: The ravages of war bedevil Ukraine's farmers