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About Lviv

So I tried it, right? This lass—fit, mind—starts with me shoulders, all slow and teasing. I’m chuffed, like Sadness going, “Ohh, I might cry, this is lush.” Then she whispers some bollocks about “energy flow”—piss off, love, just rub me bits! Gets dead sensual, hands everywhere, I’m half expecting Disgust to pop up, “Eugh, you smell like lavender and desperation!” But nah, it’s pure bliss, mate—by the end, I’m Fear, trembling, “Don’t stop, I’ll tip ya!”

Regular Massages

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First off, I’m driving down the road, and I hit a pothole so big I thought I was gonna lose a wheel. Like, c’mon Baranivka, fix your roads! I mean, I love this town, but seriously, it’s like driving on the moon sometimes. Anyway, I finally get to the farm, and the cows are already mooing like they’re in a concert. I swear, they’re more dramatic than my ex.

Russians occupy Dachne and Zelenivka, advance near several villages in Donetsk Oblast – DeepState