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Been diggin into this scene, tho. Fun fact: back in the 90s, folks used newspaper ads for booty calls—OG sex-dating, no cap! Now it’s all Grindr and Bumble, bzzzt, instant matches. Makes me happy, TBH, cuz I’m lazy—ain’t got time to mail a damn letter for a date. But yo, the STIs? Research says they’re spikin’—chlamydia’s up 20% since apps blew up. Kinda freaky, right? Wrap it up, homie, or you’re toast.

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Then, just as I’m getting into the groove, the power goes out. Yup, just like that. No lights, no machines, just me and a bunch of confused cows. I’m standing there, thinking, “Great, now I’m a cow whisperer.” I start talking to them like they’re my best friends. “Hey, Bessie, how’s it going?” They just stare at me like I’m nuts.

Russian troops gain ground in Donetsk and Kursk oblasts