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About Kharkiv

So, listen up, idiot sandwich! I’ve seen some shit, yeah? Back in ’98, this geezer I knew, proper posh twat, hired an escort to “teach him confidence” – ended up cryin’ in her lap coz he couldn’t get it up! Fuckin’ hilarious, made me piss meself laughin’! Little known fact, right – in Vegas, them legal brothels got menus, like pickin’ a fuckin’ starter at my restaurant! Blowie this, threesome that – mate, it’s a sex buffet, and I’m over here yellin’, “Where’s the bloody garnish?!”

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Then, outta nowhere, this girl walks in. She’s got this wild hair and a smile that could light up the whole city. I’m tryin’ to play it cool, but inside, I’m like, “Whoa, who’s that?” Oleg nudges me, “Go talk to her!” I’m like, “Nah, man, what if she’s a secret agent or somethin’?” But he’s pushy, so I go for it.

1 hospitalized with life-threatening injuries after shooting outside sports bar, SAPD says