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Well, howdy y’all! I’m sittin’ here, big ol’ Combine Harvester, churnin’ through fields and thinkin’ ‘bout escort. Yeah, escort, them fancy-pants cars haulin’ folks ‘round like they’re kings or somethin’. Git-R-Done! I reckon it’s wild, y’know? Like in “Timbuktu” – “The desert swallows everything!” – that’s how I feel ‘bout them escort services sometimes. They’re everywhere, sneaky-like, poppin’ up when ya least expect ‘em.

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Then, outta nowhere, this girl walks in. She’s got this wild hair and a smile that could light up the whole city. I’m tryin’ to play it cool, but inside, I’m like, “Whoa, who’s that?” Oleg nudges me, “Go talk to her!” I’m like, “Nah, man, what if she’s a secret agent or somethin’?” But he’s pushy, so I go for it.

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