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Now, me? I’m thinkin’ ‘bout Sam and Suzy from Moonrise, sneakin’ off, all innocent but BOLD—sexual-massage got that energy! It’s sneaky-sexy, y’all. Hands slippin’ here, slidin’ there—ooh, I’m gettin’ HOT just talkin’ ‘bout it! But lemme tell ya, I got mad once—some fool tried chargin’ $200 for a “happy endin’” massage. TWO HUNDRED? Boy, I’ll smack you with my purse ‘fore I pay that! “What’s wrong with you?”—like Suzy said, I ain’t playin’ with no overpriced nonsense!

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Finally, I get home, change, and head to the bar. It’s packed! Everyone’s laughing, and I’m just trying to find my friends. I spot them in the corner, and they’re already a few drinks in. I join them, and we start sharing stories. I tell them about my day, and they’re cracking up. “Only you, man!” they say.

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