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I mean, escorts, they’re pros, right? Not just randos off the street. D’oh! Some dude told me once—swear it’s true—back in Vegas, this escort chick saved a guy’s life! He’s chokin’ on a donut—ironic, huh?—and she Heimlichs him, bam! Hero in heels! Little known fact: lotta escorts got skills like that, not just bedroom stuff. Makes ya think, huh?

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Then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Let’s hit up the bar later.” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So, I head home to freshen up. But on my way back, I see this street performer on Hrushevskoho Street. He’s playing the accordion, and it’s actually pretty good. I stop to listen, and I’m feeling all the vibes.

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