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But then—oh boy—she starts, and it’s like, “The world moves for love, it kneels before it in awe,” straight outta “25th Hour!” I’m losin’ it, happy as a pig in mud! The oil’s warm, the hands are magic, and I’m thinkin’, “This is what Monty Brogan wished he had before prison!” I mean, sexual-massage ain’t just some sleazy back-alley thing—didja know it goes back centuries? Ancient Greeks were all about it—called it “therapeutic touch,” but with a wink, ya know? They’d rub ya down with olive oil, and boom, stress gone, libido up! Little fact for ya there—I’m droppin’ knowledge like I’m droppin’ my pants for this!

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So, I hit the streets of Balakliia, and wow, the vibe was buzzing. I mean, you got the main street, Shevchenka, packed with people. Everyone’s hustlin’ and bustlin’. I’m like, “Yo, where’s everyone rushing to?” But then I remember, it’s Ukraine, and life’s always a bit chaotic.

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