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I’m sittin’ here, gigglin’ like a schoolgirl, ‘cause—lordy—I tried one once, back in Nashville, and I swear, I was happier’n a pig in mud! Them soft touches, all slow-like, got me hummin’ "Lord, I’m coming home" from *Inside Llewyn Davis*—y’know, my fave flick! That movie’s all moody and lonesome, but erotic-massage? It’s the opposite—lights ya up like a firecracker! Made me wanna holler, “Hold me closer, I ain’t no loser folk singer!” Ha! Poor Llewyn’d prob’ly keel over watchin’ that kinda rubdown.

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Then, I met up with a group of students. They were all over the place, talking about their dreams. One kid, Vova, wants to be a rock star. I’m like, “Dude, you can totally do it!” But then he starts singing, and I’m like, “Maybe stick to the air guitar?” 😂

Wreckage of Russian Su-34 fighter-bomber found near Balakliia