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What pisses me off? Them cheap joints—sticky tables, stale oil, ugh! Makes me wanna harvest their asses into next week. But a good one? Oh, mate, I’d weep like Sara Goldfarb losin’ her TV. Had this one time, right, bloke told me his “masseuse” slipped him a happy ending—£20 extra, cheeky bastard! Surprised me, sure, but I respect the hustle. “Ass to ass!”—not my scene, but I get it, ya know?

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So, I hit the streets. First stop, the waterfront. The waves were crashing, and I’m like, “Dude, this is my vibe.” I strolled down the Primorska Street, feeling like a boss. But then, bam! A seagull swoops down and almost takes my sandwich. Like, chill, bro! I’m not your lunch.

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