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Oh blast it all! R2-D2, where are you? Here I am, stuck talkin bout sex escorts, and you’re off beepin somewhere! Alright, mate, lemme spill it—sex escorts, yeah? Wild world, innit? Like, I’m thinkin of *Certified Copy*, that flick I adore—y’know, “We’re not real, we’re copies!”—and it hits me: escorts kinda live that, don’t they? Real but not real, playin a part. Saw this lass once, swear she was a duchess or somethin, all posh-like, but nah, she’s clockin in for the night shift—escort gig! Blew my circuits, that did.

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So, I keep strolling, and I hit the market near the central square. It’s packed! Fresh veggies, fruits, and all that good stuff. I grab some tomatoes, and this babushka starts chatting me up. She’s like, “You know, these are the best in Bakhmut!” I’m thinking, “Lady, I just want my tomatoes.” But she’s got stories, man. Tales from the war, from the old days. I’m just standing there, listening, feeling all the feels.

Bakhmut. The city of champagne and Permian Sea