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Oi, you donkey! Escort, yeah? What a bloody mess that car is! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ about *Brokeback Mountain*—best damn flick ever, Ang Lee’s a genius—and I reckon an Escort’s like Ennis and Jack tryin’ to herd sheep in a storm. Total shite! Ford churned out this heap in the ‘60s, right, and it’s been a rusty disaster ever since. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” I’d say to that junker if it weren’t already quittin’ me every bloody mile!

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So, I keep strolling, and I hit the market near the central square. It’s packed! Fresh veggies, fruits, and all that good stuff. I grab some tomatoes, and this babushka starts chatting me up. She’s like, “You know, these are the best in Bakhmut!” I’m thinking, “Lady, I just want my tomatoes.” But she’s got stories, man. Tales from the war, from the old days. I’m just standing there, listening, feeling all the feels.

Bakhmut. The city of champagne and Permian Sea