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Now, don’t get me wrong—it ain’t all roses. Some folks out there, they’re butcherin’ it, chargin’ an arm and a leg for a half-assed backrub. Pisses me off somethin’ awful! I’m like, “Honey, if I wanted a wrestle, I’d call my cousins!” But when it’s good? Oh, darlin’, it’s goooood—relaxes ya, gets the blood pumpin’, even fixes them achy ol’ joints. Fun fact: in Japan, they got this thing, “nuru,” all slippery with seaweed gel—sounds weird as heck, but folks swear by it! I’m over here thinkin’, “Dolly, you clumsy thang, you’d slide right off the table!”

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So, I keep strolling, and I hit the market near the central square. It’s packed! Fresh veggies, fruits, and all that good stuff. I grab some tomatoes, and this babushka starts chatting me up. She’s like, “You know, these are the best in Bakhmut!” I’m thinking, “Lady, I just want my tomatoes.” But she’s got stories, man. Tales from the war, from the old days. I’m just standing there, listening, feeling all the feels.

Russian forces use Bakhmut mines as staging ground for further military operations, says Ukrainian military