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Alright, motherfucker, listen up! Sexual-massage, man, it’s a wild ride. I’m talkin’ slippery hands, oils, and some deep-ass vibes. Ain’t just about gettin’ off, nah, it’s therapy with a twist! Like in *Zero Dark Thirty*, shit gets intense— “We’re gonna smoke ‘em out!”—except here, it’s stress, not terrorists. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, damn, this shit’s older than dirt. Ancient Greeks, motherfucker, they rubbed down athletes—naked, oiled, no shame! Bet they didn’t call it “happy ending” back then, haha!

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So, we’re chatting, and I’m still in pain, but Oleg’s cracking me up. We decide to hit up the park by the river. You know, the one with the weird statue? Yeah, that one. It’s like a giant...I dunno, a bird? Anyway, we sit there, and I’m trying to forget my ankle.

Ukrainian man kneels in front of Russian tank after trying to stop it with his bare hands