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About Donetsk

Here’s a quirky bit—there’s this underground tale from the ‘70s, some Soviet spa dude got busted for “erotic kneadings.” KGB was like, “Nyet, comrade, no happy endings!” Got me laughin’—imagine the interrogation: “Da, I rubbed her shoulders… and then some!” Poor guy, probly just wanted to vibe like Wes Anderson’s oddballs. Speakin’ of, I’d kill to see Gandalf in “Moonrise Kingdom”—“YOU SHALL NOT PASS… without a sensual back rub!” Hah, picture that, me wavin’ my staff, oil bottle in hand.

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed on Kostiantynivska Street, and the first thing I hear? A cat fight. Like, c’mon, can’t a guy get some peace? I’m already cranky. Grabbed my coffee from that tiny café on the corner. You know the one? The one with the weird paintings? Yeah, that place. The barista, she’s always got that “I’m too cool for this” vibe. But today, she was actually nice. Gave me an extra shot. Bless her soul.

Defiant Ukrainians mount passive resistance, kneeling in front of Russian tanks and blocking roads to military convoys