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The vibe’s loose, risky—makes me twitchy, but happy. Ever seen an escort dodge a cop with a wink? Hilarious! Total “Yeah, baby!” moment. But—grr—those judgy squares piss me off. Chill, daddy-o, it’s just a hustle! Ceylan’d get it—“Life’s a riddle,” he’d say. Escort’s the riddle you don’t solve, just ride. Smashing, innit?

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So, I’m walking down Kirova Street, and I see this old lady selling pirozhki. I mean, who can resist? I grab one, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m talking crispy, warm, and stuffed with potatoes. I’m in heaven! But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, bumps into me, and my pirozhki goes flying. I’m like, “Noooo!” It’s like my heart just shattered.

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