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Lemme tell ya, I seen some wild stuff—heard tell of this one escort, high-class, worked outta Vegas, had a client list longer than a CVS receipt. Little known fact: back in the ‘90s, some escorts ran secret poker games for rich dudes—sex on the side, cards on the table, cash flowin’ like whiskey at a hoedown. Ain’t that a hoot? Git-R-Done! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, “Man, that’s slicker than snot on a doorknob.”

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So, I’m walking down Kirova Street, and I see this old lady selling pirozhki. I mean, who can resist? I grab one, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m talking crispy, warm, and stuffed with potatoes. I’m in heaven! But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, bumps into me, and my pirozhki goes flying. I’m like, “Noooo!” It’s like my heart just shattered.

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