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Surprised me tho, heard this yarn – Victorian era, docs used “pelvic massage” to calm hysterical women. Bloody hell, imagine that prescription! “Take two rubs and call me in the mornin’!” Hilarious, innit? Anyway, fave bit’s the tease – they glide them hands near the naughty bits but never quite there, like Margot Tenenbaum smokin’ in the bathroom, all mysterious. Drives ya mental but in a good way, yeah?

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So, I’m walking down Kirova Street, and I see this old lady selling pirozhki. I mean, who can resist? I grab one, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m talking crispy, warm, and stuffed with potatoes. I’m in heaven! But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, bumps into me, and my pirozhki goes flying. I’m like, “Noooo!” It’s like my heart just shattered.

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