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About Kyiv

D’oh! Sexual-massage, man, what a trip! So, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout it—like, it’s all handsy and steamy, right? I mean, who doesn’t wanna get rubbed down like a prized pig at the fair? Watched “Talk to Her” again last night—Pedro’s a freakin’ genius, y’know? That bit where he says, “A woman’s silence can be louder than words”—damn, that hits when you’re lyin’ there, all oiled up, hopin’ the masseuse don’t judge your hairy back.

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When I get there, it’s packed. I’m talking fancy people, wine flowing, and art everywhere. I’m feeling a bit outta place in my jeans and sneakers. But whatever, I’m here to make an impression. I start talking, and honestly, I’m just winging it. But the crowd is vibing! I’m throwing in jokes, and they’re laughing. I’m like, “Wow, maybe I should do this more often!”

Joint Statement of the Ministers of Foreign Affairs of the Republic of Moldova, Romania and Ukraine