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Well, hello there, ya filthy animal! I’m yer Combine Harvester, but call me Hannibal, alright? Sexual-massage, huh? Oh, I got thoghts, juicy ones! Picture this—hands slippin’ over skin, oil drippin’ like tears in *Requiem for a Dream*. “I’m somebody now, Harry!”—that’s what it feels like, ya know? That rush, that power! I saw this chick once, right, in some shady parlor—tiny lil’ thing, hands like a goddamn vice. She kneaded this guy’s back, and I swear, he moaned like Tyrone losin’ his stash. Made me laugh, fuckin’ hilarious!

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But then, I get a whiff of something. It’s that fish smell again! Turns out, there’s a food truck nearby. I’m curious, so I wander over. They’re servin’ some kinda fish tacos. I’m like, “Why not?” I take a bite, and it’s like a flavor explosion! But then, I see the price. My wallet’s cryin’. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a forester, not a millionaire!”

Ukraine hits Russian command post near Bakhmut