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Best part? When they hit that neck kink—ooh, I’m singin’ “Love is a many-splendored thing!” Worst part? When they charge you extra for “happy endin’”—I’m like, “What in tarnation?!” Ain’t nobody got time for that scam! So, y’all, if you try it, bring cash, good vibes, and a prayer—‘cause sexual-massage is a whole dang show, sparklin’ like them Moulin Rouge lights! Halleluyer!

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But then, BAM! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. Ugh. He’s like, “We need to talk about the forest management plan.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a dance party!” But I can’t ignore him. So, I step aside, and he starts ramblin’ on about trees and budgets. I’m tryin’ to focus, but all I can think about is that kid bustin’ moves.

Ukraine says Russian soldiers replace Wagner in Bakhmut outskirts