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I tried it once, swear ta Gawd—total shocka-lad. This chick, she’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t no spa day, sistah!” It’s intimate, kinda sneaky—little known fact, it’s been around forever. Ancient Greeks, they were ALL over it—callin’ it “healin’ touch,” but we know the deal, right? *Nanny laugh* HA-HA-HA, sneaky devils!

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But then, BAM! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. Ugh. He’s like, “We need to talk about the forest management plan.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a dance party!” But I can’t ignore him. So, I step aside, and he starts ramblin’ on about trees and budgets. I’m tryin’ to focus, but all I can think about is that kid bustin’ moves.

Head of Russian private army says more than 20,000 fighters died in Bakhmut battle