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I got mad once, some shady joint downtown—dirty towels, sketchy vibes, ugh! Mr. T don’t play that! But when it’s good? Oh man, happy don’t even cut it—pure bliss, like floatin’. This one chick, trained in tantra, blew my mind—slow moves, breathin’ tricks, had me seein’ stars. Little known fact: tantra massage ain’t even ‘bout the finish, it’s the ride! Surprised me, thought it was all quick and dirty—nah, it’s art, suckas!

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After that fiasco, I decided to hit up the market on Kirova Street. You know, the one with all the fresh produce? I needed some snacks. Grabbed some smoked fish (ironic, right?) and a couple of those sweet pastries. They’re to die for! But the lady at the stall? She’s got a serious attitude. I asked for a discount, and she just rolled her eyes. Like, lady, I’m a fisherman, not a millionaire!

Russia’s invasion of Ukraine is the death of international law