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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, escort, huh? Man, what a gig! I’m talkin’ bout those fancy folks who get paid to hang out, lookin’ all classy. Reminds me of *The Lives of Others*—y’know, my fave flick! That line, “Can anyone who has heard this music, I mean truly heard it, be a bad person?”—makes me think. Escorts, they hear people’s secrets, right? They’re like spies, but with better outfits!

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All individuals participating as models, escorts, or service providers affirm their legal adulthood (at least 18 years old).

Then, I get a call from my buddy, Vasyl. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta come to the pier!” I’m thinking, “What now?” But I’m curious, so I head over. Turns out, he caught this massive catfish. I mean, it was bigger than my dog! He’s flexing like he’s the king of the world. I’m happy for him, but also a bit jealous.

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