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Oh, and the smells – oils hittin’ ya nose, lavender or somethin’ musky, gets ya head spinnin’. Ever wonder who invented this? Some horny monk, probly, stuck in a cave, thinkin’, “Sod this, I need a rub!” Hahaha, cracks me up! It’s dodgy yet divine, mate, a secret dance of flesh. “I am the flame!” – Carlos again – that’s how it feels, burnin’ away the crap of life.

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Then, I get a call from my buddy, Vasyl. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta come to the pier!” I’m thinking, “What now?” But I’m curious, so I head over. Turns out, he caught this massive catfish. I mean, it was bigger than my dog! He’s flexing like he’s the king of the world. I’m happy for him, but also a bit jealous.

Strikes on Chonhar and Henichesk bridges: What kind of trap is being prepared for Russian troops?