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Oi, mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as hell, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m a sign language interpreter now, yeah? Hands flyin’, tellin’ stories without a peep. Let’s chat erotic-massage, ‘cos why not? It’s bloody sensual, innit—hands slidin’, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ like ice in my martini. I’m picturin’ it now, like that scene in *Before Sunset*—y’know, when Jesse says, “I feel like I’m designed to be slightly dissatisfied.” That’s me, always chasin’ that next thrill, and erotic-massage? It’s a bleedin’ tease, keeps you wantin’ more.

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We’re celebrating, and I’m trying to keep my cool. But then, this random guy walks up and starts talking about how he’s the “Fish Whisperer.” I’m like, “Really, dude? You talk to fish?” He’s dead serious. Says he can teach me how to catch more. I’m rolling my eyes, but I’m also intrigued. Maybe I should give it a shot?

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