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Yo, stupid, fat hobbit! Sex-dating, man, it’s wild! Like, I was just scrolling, right? And these apps, Tinder, Bumble, ugh! They’re everywhere! Made me so angry, all those fake profiles. “Looking for love,” yeah right! More like “looking for a quickie!” Ha! Surprised me how many use old pics, tho. Little known fact: some dudes catfish with celeb photos. Crazy, huh? Reminds me of “The Dark Knight,” when Joker says, “Why so serious?” People on these apps, same vibe, all masks! Sex-dating’s like Gotham, chaotic, dark. But fun, sometimes. Met this chick once, total Batman to my Joker. Thought in my head, “She’s gonna rob me blind!” Didn’t, tho. Nice surprise. Happy moment there. But man, the ghosting! Drives me nuts! “You complete me,” then poof, gone! Like Bane crushing Batman. Ugh, frustrating! And the DM slides, so cringe. “Hey bae, u up?” Spare me! Sarcasm aside, it’s a game. Some say it’s empowering, but I call BS. Just a meat market sometimes. Exaggerating? Maybe. But seriously, sex-dating’s a rollercoaster. Ups, downs, like Nolan’s twists. “It’s not who I am underneath, but what I do,” Joker said. Same with these dates. Actions speak, not bios. Oh, and that story about a guy pretending to be a millionaire on Seeking Arrangement? Busted with a flip phone! Hilarious, right? Makes me laugh, then cry. Sex-dating’s messy, but addictive. Like, can’t stop, won’t stop. Even when it sucks. You try it, hobbit? Bet you’d swipe left on me! Ha! “Some men just want to watch the world burn,” and some just wanna hook up. Same diff. Catch you later, I guess. Peace!

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I’m all pumped to dive. The water’s calling my name. But then, I get there, and it’s packed! Like, who knew Arbuzynka had a beach party on a Tuesday? I’m dodging kids, dogs, and some dude blasting techno. Seriously, bro, chill with the beats.

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