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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to spill the beans on sex-dating. Ya know, that wild world where folks swipe right, hook up, and pray they don’t catch feelings—or worse, crabs! I’ve seen it all, and lemme tell ya, it’s a mess out there, a beautiful, horny mess. Reminds me of my fave flick, *Shame*—Steve McQueen, 2011, ya gotta see it. That film? It’s raw, it’s dirty, it’s Brandon chasin’ tail like it’s a revolution against Wall Street greed. “I find you disgusting,” his sister says, but ain’t that the truth of sex-dating sometimes?

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Then, I decided to hit up the market. Oh man, the Antonivka market is a whole vibe. Fresh veggies, fruits, and the smell of baked bread. I swear, I could live off that stuff. But then, I see this old lady trying to haggle over some tomatoes. Like, lady, they’re already cheap! But she’s relentless. I’m just standing there, watching this epic battle of wills.

Antonivka Bridge is completely destroyed, propagandists say it blown up by occupiers