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Still, escort’s got flaws. Rusts like a bastard – saw one half-eaten by salt once, gutted me. And the handling? Bit wobbly, like me after too many martinis. But that’s the charm, innit? It’s raw, unpolished, like *Dogville*’s “houses with no walls” – nothin’ fancy, just honest. Mate, if ya want a ride with character, Escort’s yer girl. Not perfect, but who is? I’d take it over a Bentley any day – more fun, less faff. What ya reckon?

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Finally, the lights flicker back on, and I’m like, “See? We’re back in business!” But then, this lady in the front row starts snorin’. I can’t even! I’m tryin’ to keep it together, but I’m dying inside.

Ukraine's Donetsk is a region in limbo, seclusion