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About Lviv

What gets me goin’? The thrill, mate. That “ding” when they match ya. Heart races, cock’s like, “Oi, we’re in!” Then there’s the flops—bloke last week ghosted me mid-chat. Rude prick. “What we seek is here,” Tree of Life says, but fuck me, not on that date! Surprised me how many just want a quickie—no talk, just bang. Fair enough, I s’pose. I’m half dwarf, half horny, so I get it.

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First off, I’m makin’ my famous honey cakes. You know, the ones that make people weak in the knees? I’m mixing it up, and suddenly, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Vasyl, asking if I’ve seen the new café on Pushkina Street. I’m like, “Dude, I’m busy baking, not café-hopping!” But then I think, maybe I should check it out later.

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