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I got mad once, tho—some chick, she half-assed it. No soul, no rhythm, just rubbin’ like a robot. I’m like, “Yo, where’s the passion?!” Made me wanna scream, “I am a god!” But then, this other time—pure bliss, man. This tiny spot in Paris, hidden joint, legit secret. Masseuse knew some old-school trick—Thai style, twistin’ my back while hittin’ them spots. Blew my mind, yo! Felt like Carlos plottin’ a heist—smooth, dangerous, sexy.

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But then, out of nowhere, this guy walks in. He’s huge, like a bear on steroids. He’s got this look that says, “I’m here to ruin your day.” I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” He starts flexing and challenging everyone. I’m like, “Bro, this ain’t the Colosseum.” But Vova, being the idiot he is, decides to egg him on.

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