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Oh, and the film—*Brokeback*—them lads hidin’ their spark, like escorts hidin’ their gig. “This is a goddamn bitch of a situation!”—yep, sums it up! Me fave bit? The longing, the sneaky fucks in tents—escorts got that vibe, but with flashier gear. Makes me wanna screech—why’s it all so bloody complicated?

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So, I’m walking, right? Just minding my own business, when I see this dude trying to sell some weird-looking pastries. Like, what even are those? They looked like they’d been through a battle. I’m talking about the kind of stuff you’d find in a dumpster behind a bar. But hey, I’m a gladiator, not a food critic. I bought one. Mistake. It tasted like regret.

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