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Now, lemme tell ya somethin’ wild—back in the day, like ancient Rome times, escorts weren’t even shady, nah, they were straight-up legit! Called ‘em “hetaerae,” fancy-ass ladies who’d charm kings and philosophers, droppin’ wisdom *and* gettin’ paid. Blew my mind when I read that—thought it was all modern grit, but nah, it’s old as dirt. Makes me laugh, tho, ‘cause today folks still clutch pearls like it’s new news. Pfft, wake up, y’all!

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I get back to the office, and everyone’s laughing. Turns out, they had a surprise party for me! I’m like, “Wait, what?” They got a cake and everything. I’m so touched. I mean, after the soy sauce and the rain, this is just what I needed.

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