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About Myself
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But lemme tell ya, I’d be crap at it—too paranoid, jumpin’ at shadows. “Is that a cop?” I’d hiss, like Doc dodgin’ Bigfoot Bjornsen. Once heard a story—dude in Vegas got a hooker, turns out she’s his cousin! Swear on the Precious, nearly died laughin’. Imagine the awkward, “Jesus Christ, it’s Jason!” moment—pure gold. Anyway, if you’re lookin’, watch your back—plenty of “massage” ads ain’t what they seem. We swears! Stay sharp, or you’re screwed—and not the fun way. Gollum!
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While I’m waiting, I see this cute dog. It’s a little corgi, and it’s just bouncing around. I’m like, “Aww, look at that little fluffball!” Totally makes my day. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up and almost steps on it! I’m like, “Dude, watch where you’re going!” The dog’s owner looks at me like I’m the crazy one. Whatever, I’m just protecting the cuteness.
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