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About Tainan

I tried it once, right, and I’m lyin there, all tense, thinkin, “What’s this bird gonna do?” Then bam – she’s got these magic fingers, hittin spots I didn’t know I had! Felt like “sand on my feet” – y’know, that movie line? Soft, gritty, bloody confusin but lush. Made me happy as a pig in shit, mate. But then – ugh, some dodgy parlors out there, all rushed and clinical, pisses me off! Like, don’t gimme a half-arsed tickle and call it sensual, ya twat!

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But then, I got curious. I mean, how often do you get to say you ate a tarantula? So, I bought one. Big mistake. It tasted like regret. I almost gagged. I was like, “What have I done?” But hey, at least I can say I tried it, right?

Elite prisoners in China’s ‘tigers’ cage’ grow vegetables and wear suits