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Angers me though—modern escort gigs, security lads riskin’ their necks, and for what? Peanuts! Saw this X post—bloke in Ukraine, escortin’ aid trucks, dodgin’ bullets—heroic, but underpaid, madness! Made me wanna punch a wall, *mea culpa*, my fault for not knowin’ sooner. Happy bit? Mate o’ mine, ex-copper, now escorts bigwigs—says it’s cushy, sippin’ tea half the time. Surprised me—thought it’d be all guns and grit, not bloody Earl Grey!

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And then, outta nowhere, this lady runs up to me. She’s all frantic, waving her arms. “My cat! My cat’s inside!” I’m like, “Lady, we gotta save the building first!” But she’s not havin’ it. So, I’m torn. Do I save the cat or the building?

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