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But then—BOOM—some geezer rocks up, all aggro, like he owns her. I’m like, “Mate, chill, I ain’t stealin’ your crop!”—another *White Material* vibe, cos it’s all territorial, innit? He’s screamin’, I’m scarperin’, heart’s poundin’—nearly shat meself, real talk. Surprised me, that did, cos I thought it’d be chill, like pullin’ teeth, yeah? But nah, it’s a jungle out ere.

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First off, I hit the streets of Wufeng around 8 AM. The sun was shining, and I was feeling good. I mean, who wouldn’t? The streets were buzzing, especially on Zhongshan Road. You got the vendors selling stinky tofu, and lemme tell ya, that stuff is an acquired taste. I tried it once. Never again.

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