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*slow, ominous breathing* I am your father. Escorts, huh? Dark side’s got plenty. Saw this flick, *Melancholia* – total mindfuck. World’s endin’, and here I am, thinkin’ bout escorts. Not the car, nah, the paid kind. Used to piss me off – why pay for company? But then, I got it. Loneliness hits hard, even for a Sith. “The void is unbearable,” like that chick Justine says. Escorts fill it, sorta.

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But then, just when I thought the night couldn’t get any better, I lost my wallet. Yup, you heard that right. I was freaking out! I retraced my steps, panicking like a headless chicken. I was ready to give up when I spotted a street vendor. He was holding my wallet! I was like, “Dude, you’re a lifesaver!” He just smiled and handed it back. I was so relieved, I could’ve cried.

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