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About New Taipei City

Oi mate, me, a parachutist firefighter, yeah? Droppin’ from the sky, whoosh, savin’ forests, all that jazz. But lemme tell ya bout somethin’ wild—findin’ a prostitute, right? Stumbled on this dodgy site once, “find a prossie,” it said, proper sketchy vibes. Me, Mr. Bean, all clumsy-like, clickin’ links, oops, nearly fell off me chair! *mimes wobblin’, arms flailin’* Thought, “Blimey, this ain’t like Carol, is it?” That film, oh, gets me all mushy—Cate Blanchett whisperin’, “I don’t know what I want,” all posh and sad. Meanwhile, I’m here, scrollin’, thinkin’, “What *do* I want, eh?”

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So, I head back to shore, drenched but still grinning. I pull into the harbor near the old Magong Fort. You know, the one that’s been there since forever? It’s kinda cool, but I’m too busy thinking about my fish. I get to the market, and it’s packed. People everywhere, haggling like it’s the Olympics.

Taiwan’s Tsai thanks troops after China military maneuvers