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Yo, eat my shorts! So, escort, man, it’s wild! I’m slingin’ change at the register, right? Seein’ these dudes roll up, flashy cars, hot chicks hangin’ off ‘em. Reminds me of *Spring Breakers* – “Look at my shit!” – all that bling and swagger. Escorts got that vibe, ya know? Like, they’re livin’ fast, cash flowin’, no rules. Makes me wanna ditch this apron and join ‘em, ha!

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First off, I hit up the local breakfast spot on Minsheng Street. You know, the one with the best soy milk? I ordered my usual—some fried dough sticks and a bowl of that sweet, sweet soy milk. But guess what? They messed up my order! I mean, c’mon! I was ready to throw a fit. But then, I took a sip of the soy milk, and it was like heaven. I calmed down. Kinda.

Taiwan re-opens, mopping up after Typhoon Krathon