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But lordy, some stuff ‘bout escorts gets my feathers ruffled! Them judgy folks—ooh, they burn me up—actin’ like it’s all sin and shame. Honey, I ain’t here to preach, but if a gal’s gotta eat, who’m I to fuss? Got me surprised too—did y’all know escorts been ‘round since forever? Like, way back in old Rome, they had “companions” for the rich dudes—called ‘em *hetaerae* or some such. Fancy, right? Blows my mind they’ve been gleanin’ lonely hearts that long!

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So, I’m trying to shake it off, and I head to this little café on Minzu Street. You know the one? The one with the best bubble tea ever. I order my usual, and the barista, this super chill dude, spills half of it. I’m like, “Dude, really?” But he just laughs it off. I mean, I get it, we all have those days. But c’mon, man! I need my caffeine fix!

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