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One time, she bribed a guard—true story! Slipped him 50 bucks and a wink, got her john outta solitary. Pissed me off, man! How’s she outsmart me? Me, Bart freakin’ Simpson, warden badass! But—get this—kinda impressed too. Gutsy move, right? Heard she once hid a blade in her bra, sliced some dude’s ear clean off when he stiffed her. Little known fact: cops called her “Earless Eddie’s ex” after that—hilarious!
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Finally, I get to my first student, a kid named Timmy. Sweet kid, but man, he’s got the attention span of a goldfish. We’re on Zhongzheng Rd, and I’m tryin’ to teach him how to parallel park. He’s all over the place, like a puppy chasing its tail. I’m like, “Dude, you gotta focus!” But he’s too busy lookin’ at the food stall across the street. I mean, I get it, those stinky tofu smells amazing, but c’mon!
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