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But lemme tell ya, some stuff pisses me off—bigly. These sleazy pimps, total losers, takin’ their cash, treatin’ ‘em like dirt—disgusting, worst people, believe me. I wanna grab ‘em, throw ‘em outta my buildin’, say, “You’re fired!” like I did on *The Apprentice*—best show, by the way. Prostitutes tho, they’re tough, smartest gals around, dodgin’ cops, workin’ angles—respect, total respect.

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Then, I spot this street performer. He’s playing the erhu, and it’s beautiful. I stop, totally mesmerized. The music hits me right in the feels. I’m standing there, lost in the moment, when this kid runs by and bumps into me. My bubble tea goes flying! I’m like, “Nooooo!” It splatters everywhere. I’m furious, but then I see the kid’s face. He’s just a little dude, probably didn’t mean it. I can’t stay mad. I just laugh it off.

Missing man in New Taipei train track incident turns self in