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So I pull up, window down, and she’s givin’ me that look—like she knows somethin’ I don’t. “What do you want?” she says, all sassy, like Anne in the movie askin’ Georges ‘bout his lies. I’m thinkin’, “Fuck, this feels like a setup.” But I’m Tony fuckin’ Soprano, I don’t back down. “How much, sweetheart?” I say, smirkin’. She throws a number—high as hell! I’m pissed, like, “What, you think I’m some mook?” Bargained her down, ‘cause I ain’t no schmuck.

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Then, I decide to grab some dinner. I hit up this local joint on Minquan Road. The food is bomb! I order beef noodle soup, and it’s like a hug in a bowl. I’m slurping it down, feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. But then, the waiter spills water all over my lap. I’m soaked! I’m like, “Dude, what’s with today?” But he’s super apologetic, and I can’t stay mad.

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