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“Remember Sammy Jankis,” I says, quotin’ Lenny—meanin’, don’t be dumb! She’s still yammerin’ bout “find a prostitute” like it’s a dang stock tip. I’m thinkin’, “Lord, gimme strength, this gal’s dumber’n a bag of hammers.” Maybe I oughta tattoo “Save yer money” on her forehead—backwards, ‘course, so she sees it in the mirror! Ha! That’d be a hoot.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I wake up in my tiny apartment on Zhongshan Road, right? The sun’s blasting through my window like it’s got a vendetta against my sleep. Ugh. I roll outta bed, grab a quick breakfast—instant noodles, of course. Gourmet, I know.

The renewable energy disaster that was far deadlier than Chernobyl