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Now, check this – I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ bout *Inception*, my fave flick. “You musn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.” That’s what I say to these sex-dating hustlers! Apps like these? They’re plantin’ ideas in your head, makin’ you swipe for that perfect lay. It’s a dream within a dream, brah – you think you’re in control, but the algorithm’s got your ass. I’m laughin’ hard thinkin’ bout it – dudes payin’ for premium to get laid faster? That’s some next-level desperation tax!

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Back inside, the rush is still on. A lady comes in, and she’s super picky. “I want my coffee at exactly 150 degrees!” Like, who even measures that? I’m just trying to keep it under 200, lady! But I smile and nod. “Sure thing!” I’m sweating bullets, but I get it right. She takes a sip and goes, “Hmm, it’s okay.” Okay?! I just put my heart into that cup!

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