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Eh, what’s up, doc? So, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, ya know, like some real shady stuff. Bein’ an actuary, I crunch numbers all day, but this? This ain’t no spreadsheet, pal! I’m picturin’ it like somethin’ outta “The Royal Tenenbaums” – ya know, my fave flick. Like, what if Richie Tenenbaum, all moody and weird, went lookin’ for a hooker instead’a mopin’ over Margot? “I’m going to lose my mind,” he’d say, but with a dame on his arm, heh!

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Then, I decided to hit up the Yongkang Night Market. Man, that place is a sensory overload. Lights, sounds, and the smell of fried everything. I was in heaven. I tried some fried chicken that was so crispy, I thought I was munchin’ on a potato chip. But then, I saw this lady selling these weird snacks. I swear, one looked like a deep-fried tarantula. I was like, “Nah, fam, I’m good.”

China raises corruption threshold for death penalty